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  • joanenric4

My Second Pregnancy

Every woman, every body, every pregnancy, every labour, every baby, every family is different and unique. Here are some of my thoughts on why/how this second pregnancy has been more challenging than my first one.

Although there haven't been any complications yet ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ, I do feel like this second pregnancy has been more challenging than my first one. Here are some of the main reasons:

  • Fatigue is pretty common in pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. While pregnant for the first time, I was exhausted all the time... So exhausted that 7:00 pm became my new bedtime. This time around, fatigue has been a main pregnancy symptom from the start. However, there is a little one who needs my attention 24/7 and who has a lot of energy. So I don't have the luxury of resting or even going to bed whenever I feel like it. The fact that my daughter is also a low total sleep baby and a little girl who goes to bed late doesn't help either.

  • I think having a little one to take care of, makes pregnancy more challenging. I haven't had much time to read all the articles that the app tracking the progress of the pregnancy recommends me to read. I have to admit I have even forgotten how far along I am sometimes. Pretty much my whole focus and attention are on my daughter. As a result , I sometimes can't help but to feel guilty about it and to worry about how I'm going to manage to give all the attention my two children will need from me.

  • It's not a secret that pregnancy hormones can be a bit too much to handle. Itโ€™s easier to feel overwhelmed or to have more intense reactions to feelings, emotions and certain situations. Well, if you factor in the fact that this time around I also have a little one who needs me to be able to co-regulate and learn how to manage her own emotions, which can be quite intense; then being able to remain calm and be there for my daughter, and even for my husband, has definitely been a challenge during this second pregnancy. And then again, this is one of the many aspects that has made me feel mom-guilt several times.

  • I've had lots of nausea this time around as well, so I don't feel that well, especially in the mornings. It was pretty bad since very early in the pregnancy (I even started feeling nauseous before taking a pregnancy test). I started feeling better around week 14; but then the nausea came back around week 18, and I'm still trying to find something that can make me feel better. While pregnant for the first time, I didn't have any nausea at all or any morning sickness. I also enjoyed food a lot more than this time around, which is something I missed from my first pregnancy ๐Ÿ˜‚.

To all of the points listed above, I think it's also important to add that I've been very anxious and nervous during this second pregnancy. I worry about the transition from 1 to 2 kids and how it will go, whether or not I'll be able to cope with everything that involves having a newborn while having a toddler that will need me to be there for her more than ever before. I worry about labour and how it will go this time. Being an expat mom, I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my daughter if I go into labour at night; or if I have to stay in hospital for a few days like I had to when I had my daughter.

Last but not least, I also worry about the way my relationship with my daughter will change. I love the relationship we have at the moment, although it can feel a bit too much sometimes, I wouldn't like that to change drastically.

Having said that, amongst all the anxiety, fear, sadness, guilt and chaos, I do have to say that I'm pretty excited to meet our newest member of the family. I'm also really looking forward to seeing my daughter as a big sister as I know she will be the best one ever.

I also have to say that I have a whole new perspective on parenting and a better understanding of normal infant sleep, which I believe will really help me adjust better as a mom of two.

I know this transition will be challenging and it will take time for everyone in our family to adjust to the change and find our new place as a family of four; but I also know we will be okay and we'll do our best.

In the end, that's all we can do right?

Note: I haven't mentioned any of my worries regarding my relationship with my husband and being able to be there for him as I feel like that's a new post itself; or the increased mental load when managing not only my medical appointments but also my daughter's and everything else in between. It's A LOT.

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